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#272648 - 26/02/10 08:14 AM
It's Friday, I'm at work and I'm bored - do you know any jokes?
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The Eggman
Professional Forumite!
Registered: 30/01/09
Posts: 558
Loc: The Green Hills of Surrey
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Here's one:
The only cow in a small town in Scotland stopped giving
milk.
The town folk found they could buy a cow in Wales quite
cheaply.
They brought the cow from Wales and it was wonderful,
produced lots of milk every day and everyone was happy.
They bought a bull to mate with the cow to get more cows, so
they'd never have to worry about their milk supply again.
They put the bull in the pasture with the cow but whenever
the bull tried to mount the cow, the cow would move away.
No matter what approach the bull tried, the cow would move
away from the bull and he was never able to do the deed..
The people were very upset and decided to go the Vet, who
was very wise, tell him what was happening and ask his advice.
"Whenever the bull tries to mount our cow, she moves away.
If he approaches from the back, she moves forward, they said,
When he approaches her from the front, she backs off.
If he attempts from the one side, she walks away to the other side.
"The Vet rubbed his chin thoughtfully and pondered this before asking,
"Did you by chance, buy this cow in Wales ?"
The people were dumbfounded, since no one had ever mentioned
that they had brought the cow over from Wales .
"You are truly a wise Vet," they said.
"How did you know we got the cow from Wales ?
"The Vet replied with a distant look in his eye,
"My wife is from Wales”
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#272671 - 27/02/10 03:36 AM
Re: It's Friday, I'm at work and I'm bored - do you know any jokes?
[Re: The Eggman]
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The Eggman
Professional Forumite!
Registered: 30/01/09
Posts: 558
Loc: The Green Hills of Surrey
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It's OK, I'm back home now, playing guitar..
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#272675 - 27/02/10 04:55 AM
Re: It's Friday, I'm at work and I'm bored - do you know any jokes?
[Re: The Eggman]
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Jacktlad
Old Timer
Registered: 19/06/08
Posts: 1215
Loc: West Yorkshire
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Iv'e heard you playing guitar. Now that is funny!
Only joking.
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#272797 - 04/03/10 04:15 AM
Re: It's Friday, I'm at work and I'm bored - do you know any jokes?
[Re: The Eggman]
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moley
Forum Council Member
Professional Forumite!
Registered: 12/12/06
Posts: 148
Loc: East Midlands, UK
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Here's anudder one:
One morning in the middle of a really cold winter, a farmer went out to milk his cows. He got to the field, but none of his cows were moving. They were all standing like statues.
The farmer touched one cow and realised that they were all frozen solid, unable to move.
He went back home and phoned the vet to get help.
"Ah" said the vet "Frozen solid are they? OK, I'll be over soon."
Half an hour later the vet arrived, got out of his car, then opened the passenger door and helped a little old lady out of the car.
"Who's this?" asked the farmer.
"Ssssshhh, just watch" the vet replied.
The little old lady walked slowly in to the field and up to one of the cows. She reached out, touched the cow's ear and blew up its nose.
Immediately, the cow shook itself, mooed and wandered off in search of grass.
Slowly, the little old lady worked her way from cow to cow, and every cow was miraculously restored.
"Incredible!" said the farmer to the vet. "Who is this amazing little old lady?"
The vet replied, "Oh, that's Thora Hird."
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#272849 - 05/03/10 08:10 AM
Re: It's Friday, I'm at work and I'm bored - do you know any jokes?
[Re: moley]
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Skyline Band
Professional Forumite!
Registered: 08/09/06
Posts: 452
Loc: Leamington Spa
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Keeping the theme of livestock going...
A man walked into his local butchers.
"Here, where's that young lad you just took on as an assistant?"
"I sacked him", replied the florid purveyor of meats.
"Why was that then?"
"He kept pushing his plod into the bacon slicer".
"Ecch. What did you do with the bacon slicer?"
"I sacked her as well."
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#273179 - 10/03/10 07:19 AM
Re: It's Friday, I'm at work and I'm bored - do you know any jokes?
[Re: DaveBass]
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Skyline Band
Professional Forumite!
Registered: 08/09/06
Posts: 452
Loc: Leamington Spa
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A man went to his doctor.
"I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home', doctor."
"Sounds like you might have Tom Jones Syndrome."
"Is it rare?"
"Well, it's not unusual."
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