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#287328 - 22/08/11 03:03 AM Jokes?
Tinyghost Tinyghost Professional Forumite! Registered: 21/11/10 Posts: 658 Loc: Kent	Not heard any (clean) jokes for ages, then these came up; Jimmy Saville gets into a faulty time machine: Now Then, Now Then. I heard about these new invisible planes they're working on...but I can't see them taking off. Anyone? A few more and we could send them to Michael McIntyre so he won't have to camp on about being so middle class. It's our duty.
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Richards Guitars: 5 Tiddington Road, Stratford Upon Avon, Warwickshire, CV37 7AZ - Tel 01789 26 33 33

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#287554 - 01/09/11 05:29 PM Re: Jokes? [Re: Tinyghost]
1 String 1 String One of the Regulars Registered: 13/09/10 Posts: 62 Loc: Blackburn	Two lions strolling along Blackpool front, one says to the other "It's quiet today isn't it"!
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#287556 - 01/09/11 05:50 PM Re: Jokes? [Re: 1 String]
Tinyghost Tinyghost Professional Forumite! Registered: 21/11/10 Posts: 658 Loc: Kent	Spooky. I'm REALLY off to Blackpool tomorrow morning! Inflatable school kid gets sent to the inflatable headmaster's office for bringing a drawing pin to school; Inflatable headmaster "you've let the school down, you've let me down, but worst of all you've let yourself down" Boom boom!
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#287565 - 02/09/11 06:23 AM Re: Jokes? [Re: Tinyghost]
Screaming Dave Screaming Dave Professional Forumite! Registered: 18/08/11 Posts: 272 Loc: Andover, UK	What do you call a Frenchman in sandals? Phillipe Phillope! A horse walks into a pub. Tha landlord says, "Why the long face?" An Enlishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a pub. Teh landlord says, "Is this some sort of joke?" _________________________ There's no such thing as bad weather, there's only the wrong clothes.
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#287566 - 02/09/11 06:24 AM Re: Jokes? [Re: Screaming Dave]
Screaming Dave Screaming Dave Professional Forumite! Registered: 18/08/11 Posts: 272 Loc: Andover, UK	They're going to make a film about the life of Eddie Stobart. It's going to be good: I've seen the trailer ... _________________________ There's no such thing as bad weather, there's only the wrong clothes.
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#287609 - 04/09/11 01:10 PM Re: Jokes? [Re: Screaming Dave]
Jocko Jocko Old Timer Registered: 06/07/11 Posts: 1023 Loc: Kirkcaldy, Fife	Woman, rushing into an ironmonger. "Quick, I need a mouse trap. I have a bus to catch" Ironmonger, "Sorry madam. We have nothing that big" _________________________ Best tip for budding guitarists. Start playing 10 years earlier!
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#287610 - 04/09/11 01:13 PM Re: Jokes? [Re: Jocko]
Jocko Jocko Old Timer Registered: 06/07/11 Posts: 1023 Loc: Kirkcaldy, Fife	A near neighbour of mine was rushed to hospital with concussion. I say near. He lives a stone's throw from me. _________________________ Best tip for budding guitarists. Start playing 10 years earlier!
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#287618 - 04/09/11 04:59 PM Re: Jokes? [Re: Jocko]
Mark P Mark P Professional Forumite! Registered: 21/10/09 Posts: 455 Loc: Scotland	So - how do you turn a duck into a great musician? Put it in the microwave and heat it up till its Bill Withers. _________________________ I was trying to find THAT tone. Now I've realised there's lots of tones to find! http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=1022506
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#287639 - 05/09/11 07:35 AM Re: Jokes? [Re: Mark P]
Screaming Dave Screaming Dave Professional Forumite! Registered: 18/08/11 Posts: 272 Loc: Andover, UK	I just finished reading a book all about the digestive system - the end was crap _________________________ There's no such thing as bad weather, there's only the wrong clothes.
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#287884 - 13/09/11 08:36 AM Re: Jokes? [Re: Screaming Dave]
Screaming Dave Screaming Dave Professional Forumite! Registered: 18/08/11 Posts: 272 Loc: Andover, UK	I love jokes that happen off the cuff. I was in the pub with my work mates yesterday lunchtime, and one of the guys said he was going to get a load of Doughnuts. Andy said , "Can you get some of those Bob Marley doughnuts?" "Bob Marley doughnuts??!!?" says Clive. "Yeah," says Andy, "Wi jam 'in" _________________________ There's no such thing as bad weather, there's only the wrong clothes.
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